Have you ever found yourself saying the following?:
“All men are the same.”
“Girls are b*tches. They all want the same thing.”
According to Helen Fisher, a Canadian anthropologist and human behavior researcher, there are only 4 personalities in the whole world.
Meaning, we are not really that special snowflake we were taught to believe from our parents or Tumblr. It also makes it easier for us to find The One, right?
The four personalities, The Explorer, The Builder, The Director, and Negotiator each uses a different body chemical most of the time compare to each other. It doesn’t matter what’s your socio-economic class, or culture, because we all generally fall under the four personalities. I figured since Valentine’s Day is approaching rather quickly, I will do some last minute matchmaking, or a small quiz for you wonder, Is S/He the one for you?
In fact, try to imagine something like this instead:
If you are an Explorer, you are extremely optimistic. You probably find yourself more enthusiastic compare to most people. Too tired to party? Screw that. You get anxious if you stay home for a long period of time. You enjoy a variety of things, with a wide range of interests. You are easily bored by routines, and you are willing to take risks in whatever you do. You need to try new culture, foods, games, anything, simply for the experience. People who are Explorers use the brain chemical dopamine more often than the other personalities. Dopamine plays a big role in the brain system that is responsible for reward-driven learning. In other words, Explorers usually strive for the feeling of success/rewards to get through their days.
A good friend of mine is an Explorer. She loves to travel all the time. She moved from different countries a few times, and yet she never seems tired. Once she sets a goal on something, she wants to get it done as soon as possible. She would run or pace herself when she knows she needs to go somewhere important. Sometimes she says the most bizarre things I’ve ever heard. Some of her relationships are rather short, however, and it’s mostly her that does the heart-breaking. But her energy is contagious and I absolutely love her. Without her, a lot of happiness would be gone in my life.
I have an older sister who I believe is a complete builder. She flips out on me whenever I touch her laptop or move her things without permission (“If you’re going to steal my T-shirt, can you at least put it back to its original state? Do you see that stray hair on the t-shirt? Yeah, it wasn’t there before.”) She is so strict about rules, especially when it comes to littering. But at the same time, she was always there for me. No matter how many times I borrowed money from her, or ask her to do me an impossible favor, she’ll do it. (“You never return the money you borrow. Do you know you owe me $2389 dollars since high school?”) She’ll lecture me for a long time, but in the end, she would do as I begged. If I needed a shoulder to cry on,
Directors are, well, very directive. They know what they want. They’re very dominating when it comes to relationships. Which can be a good thing, or a bad thing. They enjoy competitive games and conversations. Shutting off emotions is not a difficulty for directors. Whenever a director buys a new device, let it be a camera, computer, or cell phone, directors must know all technical its features. They are tough-minded. One of the special traits in directors is that the directors are capable of not giving a single fuck for you at all. You know those people that treated you like you are the entire world when you guys were together? The ones that put you before themselves? But once you guys broke up, they could care less if you have died? Yeah, those are directors. That one person who looked like s/he never did loved you because s/he moved on so fast? Directors. They do not get swayed by others very easily. If they decided to go a certain path, they would follow it, even if there are easier, or even better alternatives out there for them. Logical and analytical, directors use their testosterones the most. Directors are attracted to Negotiators.
A good friend of mine was in a relationship for three solid years. He was very committed it to the relationship, always buying small gifts and necessities for his girlfriend. They even talked about marriage! Then that girl cheated on him. Next thing I know, she was crying and bawing for him to come back. But that was it. It was over. He didn’t care anymore. Those three years? They mean nothing to him now. He kept saying no, even after all the crying, the texting, and suicidal threats from the girl. He was encouraged by his friends to go find someone to become friends with benefits with. He did. The other girl ended up falling for him because of the intimacy. He never did.
“I just don’t like (name) anymore. Why can’t you see it like that? In fact, (name) is turning annoying now.”
The Negotiators are very empathetic. They like to watch emotional films and have a very vivid imagination. They like to know their friends deepest needs and feelings. They put most value in emotional intimacy when it comes to relationships. Because they are so sensitive to other people’s feelings and needs, they often ignore their own desires. Sometimes they follow their hearts more than what’s logical, which makes them change their minds very easily. Negotiators can get frustrated when people “don’t get it” as deeply as they do. They daydream a lot and end up getting lost in their thoughts. Of course, people who are negotiators are much more considerate and sensitive to your feelings, but, sadly, sometimes, they’re also the “paranoid” ones. Negotiators are attracted to Directors, and negotiators uses estrogens more often.
I’m a total negotiator. I can watch a movie for the third time and still cry about it. When my friends don’t feel as strongly as I do on certain topics, I feel a disconnection immediately. I hate saying No to others, and I get a good surge of happiness whenever I can help out others. When I’m in a relationship, sometimes I imagine that I’m being cheated on, or everything isn’t as perfect as it seems, just to keep myself away from completely and insanely in love. I know it’s terrible, but it protects me. Always prepare myself for the worst! Of course, I don’t release the insecurities on my partner. I just spend a lot of time imagining different scenarios we might face in the future, to prepare myself, while enjoying what I have right now.
So, which type are you? Do you think it’s fair to categorize 6 billion people under four personalities? Let us know!!